29
I turn 29 today.
wow. Last year to enjoy my twenties before the big 3 comes in.
So as I sit here reflecting on my life and how it has been so far, I begin to think about some important questions.
In all my 29 years,
How many plates of chicken rice have I eaten so far?
How many packets of Yeos' Chrysethmum drink have I drunk?
How many cups of coffee have I consumed?
How many times have I been sick and have to take MC?
How many times have I ask the aunty to Jia La in my Meepok dry noodles?
How many tons of chilli have I eaten?
How many Masses have I attended?
How many bowls of Laska have I eaten?
How many movies have I watched?
How many songs have I heard?
How many bus trips have I taken?
How many emails have I sent?
How many emails I have written and not sent?
How many steps have I taken?
How many times have I topped up my ezylink and how much so far?
How many times have I open Microsoft Word?
How many lies have I told?
How many weddings have I attended?
How many TV advertisements have I watched?
How many 'Hail Marys' have I said?
How many people have I hurt?
How many people have I known?
How many friends have I had?
How many dreams have come true?
How many time have I asked God for forgiveness?
How many times have I slipped back after asking for forgiveness?
How many times has God forgiven me?
How much money has pass thru my hands?
How many people have I touched?
How many trees have I killed?
How many people's lives were better because they came in contact with me?
How many people loved God more because our lives intersect?
How much of myself have I given to others?
How much time have I spend on myself?
How much of God have I known?
How many questions have I asked?
How did I get here?
Where am I going?
Who am I becoming?
29. A door to the rest of my life.
Jesus, thank you for this life.
Leo
Thursday, July 31, 2008
Friday, July 25, 2008
Thursday, July 24, 2008
Piranha moment.
I'm having a Piranha moment.
You know, like you are being swarmp by 10,000 things, coming at you all at once wanting a piece of you? I felt like I need to take sometime to blog this before I go crazy...
This week has been one of the most demanding weeks of this year. There are some days that are like 1 huge thing that eats at the hours demanding your full concentration and emotions. Then there are days like these where its not 1 but 10,000.
To-do-list this week:
1. Meet house contractor
2. Do up floor plan for house
3. Prepare for session on friday
4. Give session on friday
5. Take my IPPT...and hope for a miracle that I'll pass without training. yah right...
6. Chair Exco meeting
7. Celebrate birthday and plan birthday
8. Take care of my dear Japanese friend who is in town for three days
9. Clear a website project
10. Clear a property development marketing presentation
11. Plan for photo-shoot for another property development
12. Plan Amplify Fridays
13. Suppose to meet worship team leaders
3 Processes to Reduce Task Saturation
Jesus, please help me make it through this week....
Leo
I'm having a Piranha moment.
You know, like you are being swarmp by 10,000 things, coming at you all at once wanting a piece of you? I felt like I need to take sometime to blog this before I go crazy...
This week has been one of the most demanding weeks of this year. There are some days that are like 1 huge thing that eats at the hours demanding your full concentration and emotions. Then there are days like these where its not 1 but 10,000.
To-do-list this week:
1. Meet house contractor
2. Do up floor plan for house
3. Prepare for session on friday
4. Give session on friday
5. Take my IPPT...and hope for a miracle that I'll pass without training. yah right...
6. Chair Exco meeting
7. Celebrate birthday and plan birthday
8. Take care of my dear Japanese friend who is in town for three days
9. Clear a website project
10. Clear a property development marketing presentation
11. Plan for photo-shoot for another property development
12. Plan Amplify Fridays
13. Suppose to meet worship team leaders
3 Processes to Reduce Task Saturation
There are 3 processes that fighter pilots use to reduce task saturation:
- Checkklists.
- Cross-checks.
- Mutual support.
Jesus, please help me make it through this week....
Leo
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
Sunday, July 20, 2008
And with our hands lifted high...
Was in church this morning for mass. Stood at the back of the church with Cass when one of the church wardens, came up and stood beside me during the Gloria.
Then from the corner of my eye, I saw the warden lifted one hand with his palms facing the heavens. I turned and looked, and was surprised to see a familiar expression of worship during a Mass. I thot, 'wow'.
I looked up and thats when I realised, his hands were actually facing the aircon on top and he was testing whether it was on or not....
8)
Leo
Was in church this morning for mass. Stood at the back of the church with Cass when one of the church wardens, came up and stood beside me during the Gloria.
Then from the corner of my eye, I saw the warden lifted one hand with his palms facing the heavens. I turned and looked, and was surprised to see a familiar expression of worship during a Mass. I thot, 'wow'.
I looked up and thats when I realised, his hands were actually facing the aircon on top and he was testing whether it was on or not....
8)
Leo
Friday, July 11, 2008
Accepting my Identity
My true identity is a child of God.
This is the identity I have come to accept. Once I've claimed it and settled in it, I can now live in a world that gives much joy as well as bring much pain.
I can receive the praise as well as the blame that comes to me - as opportunities for strengthening my basic identity, because the identity that makes me free is anchored and found beyond all human praise and blame. I belong to God. And it is as a child of God that I'm sent into the world.
I am always in the need for spiritual guidance. I need people, community who keep me anchored in my true identity. The temptation to disconnect from that deep place in me where God dwells and to let myself be drowned in the praise or blame of the world always remains.
But I haven't always saw myself as a child of God. In fact, for most of my life, I did not. I know I'm leonard. I'm a student. I am from the Koh Family. I'm baptised a Catholic and will probably die one. But as a child of God? To know it in the deep places of my heart? It was an identity that was unknown to me for a very long time.
So those people who were able to touch me, come into my life or whom I let into the deepest depths of my heart often had a sudden and overwhelming power over me. They become a part of my identity. I could not live without them. It was painful to lose them. I felt like a part of me died. And, turns out - it did.
But that's because they could not fulfil that divine role, so they left, and I felt...abandoned. But it is precisely that experience of abandonment that called me back to my true identity as a child of God.
"There is one Love left, Leonard.... My Love."
Only God. Only God can fully dwell in the deepest places in me and give me a sense of safety. But the danger remains that I will let other people run away with my sacred centre and throw me once more into anguish. And confusion.
It will take me a great deal of time and discipline to reconnect fully to my deep, hidden self and my public self, which is known, loved, and accepted but also criticised by the world.
But...gradually..I will begin feeling more connected and become more fully who I truly am - A Child of God.
And therein..lies my real freedom.
-reflections from 'Inner Voice of Love'
My true identity is a child of God.
This is the identity I have come to accept. Once I've claimed it and settled in it, I can now live in a world that gives much joy as well as bring much pain.
I can receive the praise as well as the blame that comes to me - as opportunities for strengthening my basic identity, because the identity that makes me free is anchored and found beyond all human praise and blame. I belong to God. And it is as a child of God that I'm sent into the world.
I am always in the need for spiritual guidance. I need people, community who keep me anchored in my true identity. The temptation to disconnect from that deep place in me where God dwells and to let myself be drowned in the praise or blame of the world always remains.
But I haven't always saw myself as a child of God. In fact, for most of my life, I did not. I know I'm leonard. I'm a student. I am from the Koh Family. I'm baptised a Catholic and will probably die one. But as a child of God? To know it in the deep places of my heart? It was an identity that was unknown to me for a very long time.
So those people who were able to touch me, come into my life or whom I let into the deepest depths of my heart often had a sudden and overwhelming power over me. They become a part of my identity. I could not live without them. It was painful to lose them. I felt like a part of me died. And, turns out - it did.
But that's because they could not fulfil that divine role, so they left, and I felt...abandoned. But it is precisely that experience of abandonment that called me back to my true identity as a child of God.
"There is one Love left, Leonard.... My Love."
Only God. Only God can fully dwell in the deepest places in me and give me a sense of safety. But the danger remains that I will let other people run away with my sacred centre and throw me once more into anguish. And confusion.
It will take me a great deal of time and discipline to reconnect fully to my deep, hidden self and my public self, which is known, loved, and accepted but also criticised by the world.
But...gradually..I will begin feeling more connected and become more fully who I truly am - A Child of God.
And therein..lies my real freedom.
-reflections from 'Inner Voice of Love'
Wednesday, July 09, 2008
Bosko
On Saturday, we had the privileged of having the previous student Dean of Hillsong college, John Ollis come speak to our leaders in Amplify at CSC. John is a dear friend and a mentor to me and to have him come and speak to my leaders was a dream and a prayer come true. Thank you Jesus! He spoke for two hours over two sessions on the subject of Mentoring and building a Bible-patterned ministry.
I went away, as usual, with alot to chew on. I begin seriously thinking about the ways we shepherd and disciple people in the Amplify . John spoke about two kinds of shepherding from John chapter 21.
In the familiar exchange between Jesus and Peter, Jesus asks Peter to both feed (greek: 'bosko') and shepherd ('poimaine') His sheep:
Jesus: "Simon son of John, do you truly love me more than these?"
Peter: "Yes, Lord, you know that I love you."
Jesus: "Feed (bosko) my lambs (young believers)."
Jesus: "Simon son of John, do you truly love me?"
Peter: "Yes, Lord, you know that I love you."
Jesus: "Take care of (poimaino) my sheep."
Jesus: "Simon son of John, do you love me?'
Peter: "Lord, you know all things; you know that I love you."
Jesus: "Feed (bosko) my sheep (older believers).
Jesus gave Peter two distinct instructions on shepherding. One is "poimaino" which is general caretaking that a shepherd does for the sheep - feeding, caring for, guiding, guarding, and protecting.
The other one is "bosko" means simply "to care, to feed." John pointed out that its a picture of the shepherd going in close to the sheep, running his hands through the wool and picking the lice out. Its the shepherd holding the sheep so close that
its smell gets on him.
John pointed out that as leaders we need to tend to people in a general way - outreaches, big meetings, socials, talks, P&W etc. But we also need to move in closer to where individuals are and 'bosko' them. Its not enough to simple care from a distance, we need to draw nearer to each other. As he said, teaching on prayer is not the same as journeying with someone until they really become a prayer-er.
I think in Amplify we are good in the general tending of the community God has entrusted us, but we need to work on the moving in more personal, closer and caring for the individual member where they are at. (older or new believers) And more importantly - NURTURING their intimacy with God.
I think it relates perfectly with our theme for this year: Wider, Deeper. As we grow in our capacity to 'poimaino', I think we need to consider seriously how we can break the community down to smaller bits so Bosko can happen.
I think I will devote some time thinking and praying about this.
On Saturday, we had the privileged of having the previous student Dean of Hillsong college, John Ollis come speak to our leaders in Amplify at CSC. John is a dear friend and a mentor to me and to have him come and speak to my leaders was a dream and a prayer come true. Thank you Jesus! He spoke for two hours over two sessions on the subject of Mentoring and building a Bible-patterned ministry.
I went away, as usual, with alot to chew on. I begin seriously thinking about the ways we shepherd and disciple people in the Amplify . John spoke about two kinds of shepherding from John chapter 21.
In the familiar exchange between Jesus and Peter, Jesus asks Peter to both feed (greek: 'bosko') and shepherd ('poimaine') His sheep:
Jesus: "Simon son of John, do you truly love me more than these?"
Peter: "Yes, Lord, you know that I love you."
Jesus: "Feed (bosko) my lambs (young believers)."
Jesus: "Simon son of John, do you truly love me?"
Peter: "Yes, Lord, you know that I love you."
Jesus: "Take care of (poimaino) my sheep."
Jesus: "Simon son of John, do you love me?'
Peter: "Lord, you know all things; you know that I love you."
Jesus: "Feed (bosko) my sheep (older believers).
Jesus gave Peter two distinct instructions on shepherding. One is "poimaino" which is general caretaking that a shepherd does for the sheep - feeding, caring for, guiding, guarding, and protecting. The other one is "bosko" means simply "to care, to feed." John pointed out that its a picture of the shepherd going in close to the sheep, running his hands through the wool and picking the lice out. Its the shepherd holding the sheep so close that
its smell gets on him.John pointed out that as leaders we need to tend to people in a general way - outreaches, big meetings, socials, talks, P&W etc. But we also need to move in closer to where individuals are and 'bosko' them. Its not enough to simple care from a distance, we need to draw nearer to each other. As he said, teaching on prayer is not the same as journeying with someone until they really become a prayer-er.
I think in Amplify we are good in the general tending of the community God has entrusted us, but we need to work on the moving in more personal, closer and caring for the individual member where they are at. (older or new believers) And more importantly - NURTURING their intimacy with God.
I think it relates perfectly with our theme for this year: Wider, Deeper. As we grow in our capacity to 'poimaino', I think we need to consider seriously how we can break the community down to smaller bits so Bosko can happen.
I think I will devote some time thinking and praying about this.
Monday, July 07, 2008
My Reno Rants
Happy are the meek, they shall inherit the earth. In the mean time, the broke, 30 year-in-debt, shall get at least 97sqm.
Since the day Cassilda and I received the keys to our flat in Bedok Central, we have been busy putting together a picture of what we want our future home looks and feels like. True to our prayer in the earlier post that we want a house where we could offer hospitality to people, Cassilda and I have set out to plan it this way.
Making spaces for conversations is what I have in mind as I scour the earth and numerous libraries for interior design ideas. The most important spaces for this will be the kitchen, the dining area, the living room and the study.
The Living Room
Definitely white tiles. Dark wood beams and neutral colored sofas. No bigger than a 32 inch TV, if there is some way to conceal it I would like to. Sofas need to be comforty, those you can sleep on undisturbed through the night if for some reason, martial situations calls for me too. 2 accent chairs. If possible I would like sitting spaces for at least 8-10 people - a good cell size.
Having warm lighting complimented by a nice arched lamp will be nice. A small dark oak grain rectangle block of varnished wood for a side table between my two accent chairs will be perfect.
Seamless connections: Dining table and Kitchen
Cass and I were having a conversation about how most conversations tend to happen at the dining table. We were trying to recount the times where we would gather at people's living room to talk - seldom. We think its for the following reasons:
1. Some living room seem to have a 'family-members only' feel about them
2. the TV is usually on. nothing kills conversations faster than TV.
3. Sitting on a chair with a table in front of us seem to be the most natural position for many people. We spend most of our lives in this position - class rooms, work cubicles, eating. I think psychologically, we feel secure with a table in front of us and people can only see the upper half of our body. Being able to hide behind the table I think brings us some extent of comfort. Thus, the living room can be a very disarming and exposed place.
So for the dinning and kitchen area, I envision a lot of wood being used. Dark wood dining table backdropped with a colored wall (left). I would like the Dinning area and kitchen to be seamless.
I remember when I was at Hills, we have many meaning conversations during cooking. Usually someone will be cooking and someone else will be hanging out on the counter area or at the dinning table. I love conversations during cooking! I want my home to be able to do that! Not the poor person stuck in the kitchen all alone and only comes out when the food is done. SO BORING!!
So I was thinking of knocking down the small wall that divides the dining area and the kitchen. The cabinets will continue on as if the wall is still there so that it transforms into a counter/bar area. Someone can sit on the the other side and talk as someone else is cooking. yay!
Another way to create the connection is the flooring. I was thinking of dividing the flooring of the Living Room and the Dining area. Technically they share the same floor space. But I am considering having a interesting mix of flooring - White tile living room and dark wood laminate for dinning area.
The kitchen will be very dark uneven feel tiles. Dark grainy wood for cabinets, not sure at this point dark or light counter top. A chrome fridge, three flame hob. If possible, I would like one induction point. Small appliances for small kitchen. Maybe a colour for one wall of the kitchen.
I always wanted a red kitchen....
Study
Books are a huge part of Cass and mine life. They will play a prominent role in our home. Surely. The ministry of the Word is also something I know God has called us to so a study is the kitchen of our messages.
We hope to build a white floor to ceiling open bookcase with closed storage at the bottom. A workstation, MAC computer, of course and a comfortable two sitter sofa. Wood flooring.
Happy are the meek, they shall inherit the earth. In the mean time, the broke, 30 year-in-debt, shall get at least 97sqm.
Since the day Cassilda and I received the keys to our flat in Bedok Central, we have been busy putting together a picture of what we want our future home looks and feels like. True to our prayer in the earlier post that we want a house where we could offer hospitality to people, Cassilda and I have set out to plan it this way.
Making spaces for conversations is what I have in mind as I scour the earth and numerous libraries for interior design ideas. The most important spaces for this will be the kitchen, the dining area, the living room and the study.
The Living Room
Definitely white tiles. Dark wood beams and neutral colored sofas. No bigger than a 32 inch TV, if there is some way to conceal it I would like to. Sofas need to be comforty, those you can sleep on undisturbed through the night if for some reason, martial situations calls for me too. 2 accent chairs. If possible I would like sitting spaces for at least 8-10 people - a good cell size.
Having warm lighting complimented by a nice arched lamp will be nice. A small dark oak grain rectangle block of varnished wood for a side table between my two accent chairs will be perfect.
Seamless connections: Dining table and Kitchen
Cass and I were having a conversation about how most conversations tend to happen at the dining table. We were trying to recount the times where we would gather at people's living room to talk - seldom. We think its for the following reasons:
1. Some living room seem to have a 'family-members only' feel about them
2. the TV is usually on. nothing kills conversations faster than TV.
3. Sitting on a chair with a table in front of us seem to be the most natural position for many people. We spend most of our lives in this position - class rooms, work cubicles, eating. I think psychologically, we feel secure with a table in front of us and people can only see the upper half of our body. Being able to hide behind the table I think brings us some extent of comfort. Thus, the living room can be a very disarming and exposed place.
So for the dinning and kitchen area, I envision a lot of wood being used. Dark wood dining table backdropped with a colored wall (left). I would like the Dinning area and kitchen to be seamless.I remember when I was at Hills, we have many meaning conversations during cooking. Usually someone will be cooking and someone else will be hanging out on the counter area or at the dinning table. I love conversations during cooking! I want my home to be able to do that! Not the poor person stuck in the kitchen all alone and only comes out when the food is done. SO BORING!!
So I was thinking of knocking down the small wall that divides the dining area and the kitchen. The cabinets will continue on as if the wall is still there so that it transforms into a counter/bar area. Someone can sit on the the other side and talk as someone else is cooking. yay!
Another way to create the connection is the flooring. I was thinking of dividing the flooring of the Living Room and the Dining area. Technically they share the same floor space. But I am considering having a interesting mix of flooring - White tile living room and dark wood laminate for dinning area.
The kitchen will be very dark uneven feel tiles. Dark grainy wood for cabinets, not sure at this point dark or light counter top. A chrome fridge, three flame hob. If possible, I would like one induction point. Small appliances for small kitchen. Maybe a colour for one wall of the kitchen.
I always wanted a red kitchen....
Study
Books are a huge part of Cass and mine life. They will play a prominent role in our home. Surely. The ministry of the Word is also something I know God has called us to so a study is the kitchen of our messages.
We hope to build a white floor to ceiling open bookcase with closed storage at the bottom. A workstation, MAC computer, of course and a comfortable two sitter sofa. Wood flooring.
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