My goal in life is not to be happy but to fulfil God's purpose in my life. But what if God's purpose for my life is to be happy?

Then how?

"For the Joy that was set before Him, He endured the Cross."

Jesus endured the pains and the sorrows, ironically, so that Joy will be the outcome. So Joy was the purpose for his suffering. Not that He enjoyed suffering, mind you. Jesus was no masocist. But Jesus suffered and died to show us that there is a kind of Joy and Happiness that was literally worth dying for - one that is not of this world.

I came across a quote from C.S Lewis that really made me think about this -

"If there exist in me a desire that cannot be satisfied by anything in this world, then it simply means I was created for somewhere else."

Wow! What a great thought. Because even if I say, "Happiness is not my purpose." There is in me, an inate desire to be happy. I want to be happy. Blaise Pascal, a French mathematical genius and mystic who died in 1662, observed ...

"All men seek happiness. This is without exception. Whatever different means they employ, they all tend to this end. The cause of some going to war, and of others avoiding it, is the same desire in both, attended with different views. This is the motive of every action of every man, even of those who hang themselves."

I suspected this was true. But I always feared that it was sin to pursue Happiness. That wanting to be happy was a moral defect. Yet, it was clearly what motivated Jesus to deny Himself and take up the cross - "For the Joy...He endured the cross", and He ask us to do the same thing.

Could Jesus be showing us that self-denial is not about renouncing joy, but renouncing lesser joys for greater joys?

"These things I have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full." John 15:11 The aim of all that Jesus taught was for the Joy of His people.

"For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking but of righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit." Romans 14:17 points to the fact that the Kingdom of God is about joy.

Whats even more mind boggling is that fact that God commands us to be Joyful.

Psalm 37:4 Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.

Psalm 33:1 Shout for joy in the Lord, O you righteous! Praise befits the upright.

Psalm 32:11 Be glad in the Lord, and rejoice, O righteous, and shout for joy, all you upright in heart!

It’s commanded because what is at stake is not just our joy but the glory of God, the honor and reputation of God. If we do not rejoice in God – if God is not our treasure and our delight and our satisfaction, then he his dishonored. His glory is belittled. His reputation is tarnished. Therefore God commands our joy both for our good and for his glory.


So if our purpose in life is to glorify God and I do that in being happy in Him, wouldn't that make being happy in God the purpose of my life? Because it is true, whatever makes us happy, we automatically glorify - it could be my new Ipod, my tickets to Robbie Williams concert or the Nonya Laska I discovered in Malacca that I just can't shut up about. Whatever satisfies me, I glorify.


But I want my life to glorify that which truly satisfies. (Nothing sucks more than bringing someone to eat something you have been raving about for the last few weeks only to have them taste it and say, 'erm...its okay lor...'. ) And it is clear what (or who) that is:

"Then I will go to the altar of God, to
God my exceeding joy." Psalm 43:4

So yes, Life is difficult. To accept it is reality, maturity and sanity. But Life is not about difficulties. Rather, difficulties are opportunities to show where our true joy really is- when we are not put down when things don't go our way because these things are not what we depend to lift us up in the first place! Not acceptance from others, not having that promotion, not having that perfect life doesn't make us sad because we don't depend on them to make us happy.

We depend only on 1 thing that does, in this world and the next -

"You make known to me the path of life;
in Your presence there is fullness of joy; at Your right hand are pleasures
forevermore." Ps 16:11

So let me apologise for my last entry when I said 'Happiness is not my goal'. That's not exactly true. (I'd be going against my God-given nature and God's commands if so) To clarify- Happiness in the things of this world is not my goal. However, Happiness in God is. Our live's purpose to be about glorifying God.

And God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied (happy) in Him


Leo

Life is Difficult.


One of the most liberating thing to ever happen to me is to come to the acceptance that 'Life is Difficult.'

M. Scott Peck, the author of the best selling book "The Road Less Travelled" (which I highly recommend) opens by stating this poignant and seemly 'duh!' observation. As a young person reading it about 8 or 9 years ago, it changed me profoundly on the inside. It made me realised that I was not coming into a perfect world where the lambs and the antelope play, Where seldom is heard a discouraging word, the skies are sunny all day with Fairy Godmothers waving magic wands waiting in every corner.

You get the picture.

The reason why its so liberating, is that it made me stop making being happy the goal of my life. I figure with this truism, trying to be happy is like trying to light a match while swimming to stay afloat in the open sea. I expected my life to BE difficult. I no longer expected the world to make me happy or that things and people should always go my way. I don't expect my life to be trouble-free, that my emotions will always be kept in check, that I will always understand how I feel or how the world works, that I will never get into a fight with my girlfriend, that everyone will always like me and that I will always be in great health. To do so, I learnt, is what Scott Peck calls 'Immaturity.'

How true.


These thoughts fill my mind as I was reflecting on a passage this morning while having my usual Kopi and two half-boiled eggs. I was reflecting on John 16:33. Apparently, Scott Peck wasn't the first one to point out that 'Life is Difficult.' Jesus, in his final talk with his disciples said this,

"In this world you will have trouble."

I must say, coming from the Creator Himself, it kinda carrys a little more weigh than Scott Peck. But have no allusions about it - Jesus knows what He is talking about. I started flipping through the gospels because I thought it will be interesting to find out what made Jesus came to this conclusion. So I wrote down all the troubles He faced in the gospels.

This is the list I made.

(you might want to read it to David Powler's "I had a Bad Day", kinda adds a kick to it")


Jesus Troubles
Dodgey Birth
Temptation
Betrayal
Sickness
Possessions
Kicked out of church and nearly off a cliff
Racism
Poverty
Almost Stoned
Homelessness
Bad Weather
Bad Hair Day (C'mon, everyone has it..)
Debasement
Prejudice
Perjury
Emotional Turmoil
Death Row (this one's a killer)
Depression
Stress
Pain
Whips
Discouragment
Nakedness
Failure in Ministry
Shame
Mockey
Spit on
Forgotten by His own parents (when He was 12 years old, that was a real esteem builder..)
Death of his father
Death of friends and cousins
Disowned
Doing something good and getting a rap for it
Backstabbed
Called names
Undue Pressure
Expectations of others
"Friends"
Unwanted Media Attention
Heartbroken
Interrupted Sleep (see bad weather: storm)
Bad Rep
Misrepresentation
Misquoted
Misunderstood (Pope's not the 1st one, following in his Boss' footsteps)
Abused
Gossiped
Thirst
Embezzled from (Judas)
Hated
Scorned
Murder (another show-stopper)
Desertion
Physical Exhaustion
Disappointment
Disciples slept while he wept
Scourged
Nailed to wood
and facing satan himself


When you realised the kind of stuff the Son of God went through, 'in the world you will have troubles' sounds like a gross understatement doesn't it? But before you accuse Jesus of being fatalistic or nihilistic, let's look at the whole passage in context -


"I have told you these things
so that in Me you may have peace.
In this world you will have trouble.
But take Heart!
I have overcome the world!"
John 16:33


Jesus was speaking to his disciples about His impending suffering and death. He told them quite plainly what He was about to go through and why He was going through it. And That, made all the difference in the world. Essentially He was telling us:

"Guys, there is purpose to why this is happening. I'm telling you now so that when crunch time comes, you can relax knowing that all is going as planned. Sure, its going to hurt and there will be moments where you will get a bit confused and when you do - remember what I said. If I did it. If I beat everything the world could throw at me, so can you, because I live in you."

And that is what He did. See the list I made above? Jesus went through everything and guess what? He beat the odds when no one though He could, He faced everything the world could throw at Him and came out the winner. And guess what, so can we.


Riddle:
Why would a man lie on his back and allow someone else to cut him with a knife?

Answer:
Surgery . So he can get better.


"For the Joy that was set before Him, He endured the Cross." Purpose can overcome anything.


You know, one of the most liberating thing in the world to me is to accept the fact that 'Life is difficult'. The MOST liberating thing in the world is to realise 'Life has a Purpose'. That God allows stuff to happen to us so that He can help us overcome it. A Conqueror is not someone who sits at home in a peaceful nation. A Conqueror is someone who goes out, fights battles and win them. And God tells us we are 'More Than Conquerors'.

Jesus calls us not to a life of comfort, safety, security or even happiness but to one of Obedience and Purpose. When I get over the fact that Life is going to be difficult, I can start to make my Life meaningful and see all the circumstances the world throws at me as opportunities where Jesus can proof His faithfullness and together, I emerge more than a Conqueror. Only then, like Jesus, can I help others conquer their difficulties as well and live a life of victory.

Pierre Corneille says this.. "To win without risk is to triumph without glory."

So this is what I say:


Cruel World...



Bring it on.



Leo

Malaccian Romance


We recently celebrated our 4th Anniversary of our relationship in the city of Malacca! It was a short leave-on-friday-afternoon-come-back-on-Sunday kinda trip. Malacca's a wonderfully quaint place for a short lazy getaway.

What's not to love? The people are quite friendly. The food is exceedingly cheap and good. The Nonya Laska is absolutely the best although I must say that the Chicken Rice Balls are grossly overrated. The historical sights are just so..historical and everything is pretty much within walking distance. (which is great for lonely walks...)

Okay, so it isn't exactly Paris or Venice but we had an awesome time! Here are some photos we took:

We praise God for the Gift of each other! Here's to all who have journey with us the last 4 years and a lifetime of love and romance. awesome!

.

Leo & Cass

Internet Pornography : A Real Battle

Internet pornography is probably one of the most wide spread, unspoken struggle in a man's life. Because of how easily accessible (sometimes unintentionally) it is, it presents a significant challenge to avoid completely. Many of us, especially men, struggle privately with it, sometimes on a daily basis. Covered by a layer of secrecy and shame, this makes it even more difficult to deal with.

I hope this great Music Video by Mr J entitled 'Constance', sheds some light on it. Check it out.

Also I've included some thoughts to help us in this very real battle.

• Pornography is degrading. It promotes sexual acts without providing a relational context, thus sex becomes impersonal. It does not address the needs for relationship, honesty and intimacy with a spouse. Therefore, pornography leads men to become preoccupied with only sexual acts. Consumption of pornography by men raises the likelihood of sexual violence against women.

• Pornography exploits women, treating them as sexual objects to fulfill the sexual desires of men.

• Pornography is also damaging to relationships, particularly to marriage. Men who are involved in pornography often end up with unrealistic sexual desires in regards to frequency, type of sexual acts engaged in, a woman's response, etc. Pornography is a make believe world - but can become the "standard" for sexual behavior for those who become addicted to it.

• Internet porn, specifically, has been called the “crack cocaine of sexual addiction” by Dr. Robert Weiss of the Sexual Recovery Institute.

Pornography is an especially tough issue. The great news is that God is the God of forgiveness and restoration. No matter where we are, what we've done, or what we're trapped in... God can and will forgive, heal and restore.

The first step is admitting that there's a problem and that it's wrong. Half the battle is won right there. As for the future, change begins with a decision to change and then followed through with whatever measures it takes to live out that commitment. Wanting to change - that's the first step. Now begins the tough road of daily decisions that help us live out that commitment.

Here's a few of them we may need to make:

• change our internet software to a filtered provider, one that won't allow us to get to the web site, even if we wanted to.

• We may need to change our web habits, maybe move the computer to a more public place in the house, if we're living with some other people. We may not be able to use the web alone, looking to be in the presence of others as you use it.

• Gather people around us who can keep us accountable. We need to have people in our life that we can share our struggle with. People who will ask us the tough questions in life, like "When was the last time that you went to that site?" These are people whom we trust, know, are transparent with us, and who love us unconditionally... no strings attached!

• You may have heard the saying, "garbage in... garbage out". Well, it applies here. Not only do we need to not put garbage in, we need to feed your mind on things that will purify our mind and heart. Evaluate what we read, listen to, and watch. What are the messages that we are allowing into our mind and heart. Read the Scriptures, and other Christian reading.
Listen to music that edifies Christ. Start "re-formatting" our heart and mind by the things that we allow into it.

.

Friend, remember, it's not easy. There are no quick fixes. It takes time, effort, and commitment. There may still be times that you fall sand stumble, but God is right there. Lean on Him. Rely on the Spirit to help you get through this. Go for the Sacrament of Reconciliation as soon as possible. Pray often. God will see you through this. You probably didn't get into this overnight... and it won't be an overnight cure. God is in the business of healing and freedom. He's done it before... He'll do it in your life as well!

Do drop a comment if you have any.

With you in the fight,
Leo

Some of the above material is taken from Jim Burns.

Tip 1: GET REAL
Let's recognize that sexual temptation is unavoidable in our sex-obsessed culture. Erotic images on billboards, films, television and a thousand other stimulants are bombarding you daily. Being a Catholic doesn't exempt you from temptation - the godliest of men can fall prey to it. So the first step towards maintaining sexual integrity is to get real. Admit to yourself that sexual temptation is a problem that you have to reckon with. Remember St. John's warning: "If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves." (I John 1:8)




Tip 2: GET SERIOUS
You should know by now that sexual sin ravages everyone connected with it. What you may not know is that every sexual fantasy you entertain, every flirtatious conversation you keep up, or every "second look" you indulge in is the seed for STDs, adultery, a broken heart, a shattered life. Get serious - if you're entertaining lust, you're dancing on a cliff. Take concrete action now while you can. "Lust, when it is conceived, brings forth sin, and sin brings forth death." (James 1: 15)




Tip 3: GET READY
If you really believe an earthquake is coming someday, you prepare for it by developing an emergency plan. If you really believe sexual temptation is both common and can become lethal, you'll make an "emergency plan" for it, too. Decide in advance what to do when you're tempted: how to distract yourself, who to call, how to escape close calls.

Even St. Paul admitted: "Like an athlete I train my body to do what it should, not what it wants to do. Otherwise, I fear that I myself might be declared unfit." (I Corinthians 9:27)Can you really afford to do less?




Tip 4: GET CONNECTED
Sexual sin thrives in the dark. If you're caught up in any sexual vice, one thing is certain: The secrecy surrounding your behavior is what strengthens its hold on you. However ashamed you may feel about admitting your problem to another person, the reality is this: You can't overcome this on your own. If you could, wouldn't you have done so by now?

Take a hint from James: "Confess your faults one to another, and pray for one another, that you might be healed." (James 5:16) Confession your sins to a priest in the Sacrament of Reconciliation. Find a trusted, mature Christian friend to confide in. Make that friend a partner in your recovery, and NEVER assume that you've reached a point where you no longer need accountability.




Tip 5: GET BRUTAL
I believe there's an eleventh commandment somewhere that says "Thou Shalt Not Kid Thy Self." If you're serious about sexual integrity, you'll distance yourself not only from the particular sexual sin you're most prone to (fantasizing, pornography, affairs, prostitution) but you'll ALSO distance yourself from any person or thing that entices you towards that sin. Sometimes, even a legitimate activity (certain movies, music or clubs, for example) may be OK for other people to indulge in, but not for you.

Get brutally honest about your lifestyle: anything in it that makes you prone to sexual sin has to go. "All things are lawful for me", Paul said, "but not all things are edifying. I will not be brought under the power of anything." (I Corinthians 6:12)




Tip 6: GET HELP
Sexual sins are often symptomatic of deeper emotional needs that a man is trying to satisfy in all the wrong ways. Repenting of the sin itself is necessary first step, but recognizing the conflicts or needs that led you into that behavior may be the next step, requiring some specialized care from a Christian professional. Don't hesitate to seek Godly counsel if you're trapped in cycles of ongoing, out-of-control behavior. The answer you need may be more than just "pray and get over it!". King David (who was no stranger to sexual sin, by the way) found refuge in Samuel's wise mentoring. (I Samuel 19:18)

If you're willing to seek professional help for studies, taxes, medical care or career counseling, surely you'll be willing to do the same to maintain your sexual integrity.




Tip 7: GET COMFORTABLE
The problem of sexual temptation isn't going anywhere. It's been with us since time immemorial, and no doubt it will plague us until Christ comes. So get comfortable with the idea that you'll need to manage your sexual desires throughout life, always remembering that your sexual integrity is but a part of the general life-long sanctification process all Christians go through.

"I count myself not to have attained perfection", Paul told the Phillipians. "I am still not all I should be." (Phillipians 3: 12-13) So learn to love the process of pressing on, not perfection.




Tip 8: GET LOVE
"I've been looking for love in all the wrong places", an old song laments. The sexual sin you're drawn towards may indeed be a cheap (though intense) substitute for love. You can repent of the sin, but not of the need the sin represents. So get love in your life: friendships, family, spouse, fellow believers. A man who truly loves, and knows he's truly loved, is far less likely to search for what he already has in places he'll never find it."Why do you spend your money on that which is not bread, or your labor on that which cannot satisfy?", Isaiah asked. (Isaiah 55:2)

Learn to be intimate and authentic. It's one of the best ways to protect your heart and your integrity.



Tip 9: GET GRACE
It isn't the sinless man who makes it to the end; rather, it's the man who's learned to pick himself up after he stumbles. If you're struggle seems relentless, remember this: when you commit yourself to sexual integrity, you commit yourself to a direction, not to perfection. You may stumble along the way - that's no justification for sin, just a realistic view of life in this fallen world. What determines the success or failure of an imperfect man is his willingness to pick himself up, confess his fault, and continue in the direction he committed himself to.

Remember Paul's approach: "Forgetting those things that are behind, I press on towards the mark of the high calling." (Phillippians 3: 14)




Tip 10: GET A LIFE
What's your passion? What's your calling? How clear are your goals? And, by the way, do you have any fun? The man who doesn't have a life - a passion, a sense of meaning, an ability to play as hard as he works - is a man with an emptiness tailor-made for sexual sin. Life is about more than keeping yourself sexually pure, as important as purity is. It's about knowing who and why you are, where your priorities lie, and where you're headed. If you don't know that much about yourself, you have some serious thinking to do.

Commit yourself to developing your life as a good steward of your gifts and opportunities, and make that the context in which you seek to maintain your sexual integrity. Sexual integrity for it's own sake is a good thing; sexual integrity for the sake of a higher calling is better. So by all means turn from your sin. But as you do, turn towards a goal-oriented, passionate, meaningful life. That is repentance in its truest, finest sense.




by Joe Dallas

I'm sure we all had either heard, have experienced or are experiencing now the effects of a fake or counterfeit friend. People who claim to be our friend, look like a friend, act like a friend, smell like a friend but end up ruining our lives.

You know, at least with our our enemies, our guard is up. But when we are with fake friends, our guard is down and we are wide open to their influence. And I find personally in my life, the greatest regrets usually involved people I thought were my friends.

So three things to look out for in spotting a Fake:

a. Direction of the Relationship
Relationships are like travelators, they are always moving to one direction or another. The problem is that we all have the tendency to evaluate a friendship based on where it is at a particular point in time. We need to be aware of the direction of the relationship as well as what is happening at any given moment.

Genuine friendships move in a positive, mutual beneficial direction. A Counterfeit will move in the other way. We need to ask ourselves:

“If this relationship continues to move in this current direction, where will it eventually end up?” and

“Is that where I want to be?”


b. Self-destructive Behavior
Fakes usually exhibit some form of self-destructive behavior. Maybe they seem incapable of making wise choices, get into the same trouble over and over. Most likely they will scorn authority figures in their lives.

This is important to look out for because if your friends don't watch out for themselves, they certainly ain't going to watch out for anyone else.

If you trash you own car, I would think twice before lending you mine.


c. Lack of Solid Convictions
A person who lack solid convictions will have a difficult time being a true friend. Listen for statements like:-

"Just do what ever feels right for you."

"Everybody has to decide for themselves"

"No one can tell other people what is right for them."

People who use these statement may betray a lack of solid convictions and foundations. These are not the sort of people you want to hold on to during a storm, because they will just drift with the emotion of the moment. (and you with them)

And when there comes a time where you must stand up for what is right in the eyes of God (but unpopular), these friends may not be standing with you.


The Real Thing
The best way really to spot a fake is to handle the Real thing. Do you know how they train Bank Tellers to tell counterfeit notes from real currency? Not by letting them touch counterfeit notes. They make them handle the real thing so much that when a fake comes along, they can instantly tell the difference.

Likewise, we need to surround ourselves with true friends - wise people who accept us as we are but love us enough not to leave us the way we are. So when the fakes come along, we can spot them in a hurry.

So lets choose to choose our friends well, because they determine the quality and direction of our lives!

Leo