Leonard's Enroute

I'm sure we all had either heard, have experienced or are experiencing now the effects of a fake or counterfeit friend. People who claim to be our friend, look like a friend, act like a friend, smell like a friend but end up ruining our lives.

You know, at least with our our enemies, our guard is up. But when we are with fake friends, our guard is down and we are wide open to their influence. And I find personally in my life, the greatest regrets usually involved people I thought were my friends.

So three things to look out for in spotting a Fake:

a. Direction of the Relationship
Relationships are like travelators, they are always moving to one direction or another. The problem is that we all have the tendency to evaluate a friendship based on where it is at a particular point in time. We need to be aware of the direction of the relationship as well as what is happening at any given moment.

Genuine friendships move in a positive, mutual beneficial direction. A Counterfeit will move in the other way. We need to ask ourselves:

“If this relationship continues to move in this current direction, where will it eventually end up?” and

“Is that where I want to be?”


b. Self-destructive Behavior
Fakes usually exhibit some form of self-destructive behavior. Maybe they seem incapable of making wise choices, get into the same trouble over and over. Most likely they will scorn authority figures in their lives.

This is important to look out for because if your friends don't watch out for themselves, they certainly ain't going to watch out for anyone else.

If you trash you own car, I would think twice before lending you mine.


c. Lack of Solid Convictions
A person who lack solid convictions will have a difficult time being a true friend. Listen for statements like:-

"Just do what ever feels right for you."

"Everybody has to decide for themselves"

"No one can tell other people what is right for them."

People who use these statement may betray a lack of solid convictions and foundations. These are not the sort of people you want to hold on to during a storm, because they will just drift with the emotion of the moment. (and you with them)

And when there comes a time where you must stand up for what is right in the eyes of God (but unpopular), these friends may not be standing with you.


The Real Thing
The best way really to spot a fake is to handle the Real thing. Do you know how they train Bank Tellers to tell counterfeit notes from real currency? Not by letting them touch counterfeit notes. They make them handle the real thing so much that when a fake comes along, they can instantly tell the difference.

Likewise, we need to surround ourselves with true friends - wise people who accept us as we are but love us enough not to leave us the way we are. So when the fakes come along, we can spot them in a hurry.

So lets choose to choose our friends well, because they determine the quality and direction of our lives!

Leo